...and every of his written literary thought!

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Close Shaves iii


Hilarious Humour
I got my sense of humour from my parents; that’s why they don’t have one anymore!

Doctor of medicine married doctor of theology. Now they’re said to be body and soul.

Seen while passing by a church: Get in touch with God by knee mail.’

High heels were invented by  a woman who was kissed at her forehead.

What does a vampire fear most? Tooth decay.

Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
What make men chase women they have no intention of marrying? The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.

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Think about it…
If practice makes perfect and nobody’s perfect, then why practice?
If you died with braces on your teeth, would they take them off?
If love is blind, then why do we believe in love at first sight?
Don’t you find it worrying that doctors call treating you their practice?
If you try to fail and succeed, what did you just do?
If a book about failures does not sell, is it a success?
Could someone ever get addicted to counselling and if so how do you help them?
If a chronic liar tells you he is a chronic liar, do you believe him?
Why do eggs not taste like the chicken itself?
What is the opposite of opposite?
Why do you get on a bus but get into a car?
Why do mattresses have design on them whey they are always covered with sheets?
How do you know which armrest if yours in movies theatres?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why do we wash towels? Aren’t we clean when we use them?
What is the male ladybug called?
If you stole a pen from a bank then would it be considered a bank robbery?
If you tell someone that they are being judgmental, aren’t you being judgmental yourself?
If scientist were ever going to figure out how to travel thought time, wouldn’t we now be seeing people from the future?
Did Adam and Eve have navels?
Why do we call them ‘apartments’ when they‘re all stuck together?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can’t they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is the person who plays the piano called the pianist, but a person who drives a racecar not called a racist?
If you decide that you’re indecisive which one are you?
Why does caregiver and caretaker mean the same thing/
if it’s zero degrees outside today and it’s supposed to be twice as cols tomorrow, how could it going to be? (Since 2 x 0 = 0)
What do you say when someone says you are in denial but you are not?
If you are born exactly midnight, is your birthday on those days?
Isn’t is scary that the word ‘therapist’ is the same as the words ‘the’ and ‘rapist’ put together?
Why do we call it your bottom when it’s really in the middle of your body?
What happens when you get scared half to death twice?
Why is it called a ‘building’ when it is already built?
On a mo-phone, why does ABC start on the number 2 and not 1?
Why do we say ‘bye bye’ abut now ‘hi hi’?
Why is the word ‘abbreviation’ so long?
Can a guy named Nick have a ‘nick’ name?
If an ambulance is on it’s way to save someone, and it runs someone over, dies it stop to help them?








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